Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Bedroom Secrets




You can tell a lot about someone from how they decorate their bedroom. Some people adore flowery themes, swags, draping fabrics, pastels. Some like stark clean lines. Black, red, chrome.
I know that if a psychiatrist was allowed into my bedroom they would not be able to put forward any theories at all for a while. They would probably be left struck dumb by the mess to be frank.Some people adorn shelves and counter tops with ornaments, decorative boxes and photographs while others like minimalism and everything hidden away in cupboards, drawers and behind sliding doors-I'm sure a good psychiatrist would have a theory on why people arrange one of the most intimate rooms in their home.
my life on a nightstand
But, as I climbed over what I like to call organised chaos into my bed last night I realised that what looks like a big 'ole pile of mess on my bedside table really encapsulated my existence as a mother of 7.
Dominating my nightstand is an alarm clock with ipod/iphone docking station which doubles as a charger for my smart phone which I can't bear to be parted from, not even while I sleep. It might get lonely, charging all by itself in the kitchen. Much better to be always in reach like a shiny, smooth comfort blanket
Every night I turn the sound off but have my phone set to flash bright lights if any calls or messages come in. I always ask my older ones to let me know when they are in from a night out and when I see the phone flash I know that I can go into a deeper sleep. I always check the message and sometimes I have to extract myself from my warm duvet to go on a rescue mission. Well. Generally I nudge DH awake and tell him his taxi services are required. But that doesn't happen very often luckily, especially since DS1 left home. He can sort his own vomit bucket out now thankfully.
I have a tube of Sanctuary skin softening soufflé. I am diabetic and use this as an excuse to demand regular foot massages from DH. Very important to look after your feet when you are diabetic *winks*.
I have the remnants of my nighttime beauty routine. Exfoliating wipes. Night cream. Eye cream and tissues. I also have a bottle of  fake tan. In my head I look ten years younger with a touch of tan and since I live in the UK where we have maybe three decent tanning days a year plus anyway UV rays and sunbeds etc are bad for you so I resort to plastering myself in mysterious chemicals for my sunkissed glow.
I have a compass and a DS game cartridge, a string of beads, chewing gum and a faded dusty "love you mummy" note. These all left by a variety of children who have either joined us in bed in the morning or used our bed as a couch to watch "their" TV when we have evicted them from the living room or if they can't all agree what to watch on the main TV.
As an aside, often we end up all watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with the grumpy toddler as he doesn't like coming upstairs and its not worth upsetting him by turning over sometimes. I know. I put my hands up. I'm an unfit mother and proud of it.
I have a pile of unread books I mean to get round to, a notepad to make middle of the night reminder notes left over from pre-iphone days.  A pack of sugar free sweets for nighttime coughing fits and a selection of jewellery taken off and chucked there in the middle of the night when I wake with it tangled in my hair and realise I forgot to take it off exhausted after too much wine  housework.
There are two AA batteries there. Now now, this blog is suitable for all ages. Stop sniggering. They were batteries I took out of the remote control and have been abandoned there because every morning I forget to pick them up and throw them away. Moving swiftly on.....
Bombay mix
Bombay mix (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
There is one of my necklaces with a cross pendant. I am proud to be a Christian and have a variety of necklaces with crucifixes and crosses on.
A hair elastic. Again both abandoned there after a night out. There are crumbs from my preferred evening snacks of Farley's baby rusks and Bombay mix hiding under the alarm clock. Fair to say I'm not an obsessive housewife. Eat a peck of dirt before you die and all that.
Last but not least, there is a whole load of coffee stains (my lovely DH brings me a cuppa every morning to ease me into the dreaded pre-school run nightmare) and a pair of sunglasses. I honestly have no idea why they are there.
Glancing over to DH's side of the bed I see a small alarm clock. A bottle of manly basic moisturiser for chapped skin ( he works outdoors mostly). A range of glasses for reading, close work, distance...two phones- one work one personal. His watch and worryingly a hip flask! ( He said the flask has whiskey in, was a present from a friend, and has been there since Christmas)
So quite spartan compared to my side. But carrying the theme elsewhere he is likely to leave the house with just keys and wallet while my handbag is stuffed to bursting with stuff "for fear".
I'm intrigued to learn what you keep next to your bed. As long as it's not intensely personal share via comments box below!
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