Friday, 1 March 2013

inappropriate behaviour.

I am a little bit prone to inappropriate behaviour. I'm especially good at not engaging my brain before opening my mouth. You'd think this would be embarrassing but I'm quite proud of my dubious habit of saying out loud what everyone else is thinking.
It started as when I was a very little girl. After my basic birds and bees talk from my mum I apparently pointed out a lady with a baby in her tummy on the bus. Of course the lady concerned was not actually pregnant, she just had a penchant for pies (or a glandular or other medical condition leaving her plus sized in which case now, 40 years late, I apologise)
l-r, Claire, Madmumof7, Jane
Yesterday I managed to rein in my big mouth initially. I had met my friends Claire and Jane for coffee in one of the places selling lovely flavoured but overpriced coffee. I prepared my order, making sure I knew the trendy terms the cafe used instead of small, medium or large. And when the cashier took my order I even managed to remember to chuck in a "skinny" to offset the food I also ordered.
So, I asked for skinny gingerbread latte, white toast and marmalade please". And the cashier smiled and asked ;" would you like any jam, marmalade or marmite with that?"
Tempting as it was to point out I'd already asked for marmalade I satisfied myself by having a quiet giggle with my friends while she went off to make the toast. My friend Claire decided not to confuse the girl and let her stick to her script. So she asked for wholemeal toast. Would she like jam, marmalade or marmite? Yes she would like some jam. Cue hysterical laughter when her order arrived with marmite! So. I said;"tall skinny gingerbread latte and white toast with marmalade please." The cashier smiled and asked; "Would you like jam, marmalade or marmite with your toast?" I looked round at my sniggering friend and repeated that I would indeed like marmalade.  And in my head I added;"Like I said!"
The young lad bringing our toast looked a bit worried that a plate of toast had provoked spontaneous loud giggles and didn't look much reassured when we explained my friend had asked for jam. He brought the jam with a smile obviously thinking we'd been on the gin a bit early.
But a few minutes later the same lad approached our table again and asked:" Can I take your numbers ladies?"
I responded:"Ooh it's been a long time since a bloke asked for my number!" setting off fresh hysterical laughter from my friends who are used to me being inappropriate in public and in fact seem to find it amusing.
Of course he simply wanted to take the sticks with numerals which indicated we had ordered food but in my head it was too good a chance to miss to tease him. He laughed, shook his head in despair and rapidly backed away from the mad old birds with their toast and syrupy coffees.
DS1 with his usual mocha and brie and bacon combo
DS1 has never really minded my habit of saying what I think, even if it is a bit outrageous at times. But today he is less keen- as I have just added his GF as a friend on Facebook (and she bravely accepted my friend request)
Well I'm hoping that if she gets used to me in the virtual world it will be less of a shock if she's ever allowed to meet me in "real life"!
Enhanced by Zemanta

2 comments:

  1. Loved it - I get told off by my friends for this type of behaviour!!!! A girl after my own heart ;)

    ReplyDelete

I'd love feedback- but keep it clean and kind.