Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Wicked Step-dad

The title of this blog might be a bit misleading. By "wicked" I mean in that cringy 80's wicked/cool/fab way because I am very lucky to have the step-dad I do.

It's come into my mind as I currently have a few friends going through the minefield that is divorce, new relationships, blended families.... and seeing how worried they all are about getting it right for their kids I realise how lucky I am in that I love my step-dad.

It wasn't love at first sight. When I first met him I really wasn't sure how I felt about him. So being a typical teenager I thought I'd largely ignore him.

I applied to study Journalism at Cardiff and the letter came inviting me for some aptitude tests. Big problem. The tests were being held on a weekday. My mum was a teacher and had my little sister to look after- she couldn't take me. We had two choices - send me down alone on the train to stay in a B&B overnight and make my own way to the tests or find someone willing to drive several hours to Cardiff and hang about for a few hours then drive me back.
My mum's then BF offered to drive me.

Initially I was appalled! What on earth was I going to talk to this man about for hours in the car!
So on the day of the tests, already nervous about my future and not really equipped to make small talk with the bloke I normally ignored, I sat in the car and stared resolutely out of the window. Ignoring my driver.

Until we got stuck in the inevitable M5 traffic jam. I couldn't pretend to stare out at the same spot of motorway for long. I was saved by that star of 80's Radio Simon Bates and his "Our Tune"feature.
Remember "Our Tune"? It was meant to be poignant and heart wrenching and uplifting. Simon would read out letters outlining tragic stories - sometimes with happy endings but not always. And at the end he would play a significant song the writer had requested. Check out the video for a reminder of the cheesy theme tune.......
our tune video link

On this occasion it was one of the best type. One of those "so awful you couldn't make it up" stories.
Girl meets boy. Girl gets pregnant. Marries boy who turns out to be her brother. Baby born a giant with green hair. Girl dumps boy. Girl meets another boy. Who turns out to be a girl..... I exaggerate but you get the picture.

This poor woman's disasters went on and on and just as you thought she had triumphed over all the cr*p something else awful happened to her. "My leg fell off but at least I got to wear those odd single socks left after the wash....."

Well in retrospect it sounds mean but step-dad and me howled with laughter at this lengthy tale of woe and when the traffic started moving again entertained ourselves making up new disasters and alternative ever-more gruesome endings to the tragic woman's tale. (I should have known then I was good journalist material)

The ice was well and truly broken and we went on to have a great relationship. I was delighted when he and my mum married. I have got step-siblings- as we were all in our teens and older this didn't impact me really at the time but it's turned out to be a bonus as I now get on particularly well with my lovely step-sister - same age as me and a matching passion for curry and wine!

I understand that I was lucky- and I was a lot older than most children who have to cope with a family blending but for all of you out there worrying about outcomes  I wanted to share my own happy ending.

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5 comments:

  1. Aww lovely post Afra!! Funny and sweet! It's lovely there was a happy ending for you which is positive for others worrying about the same issues right now :) xx

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  2. It's lovely to hear that someone else gets along well with their step-dad, as I also have one. He's the first person I'd call in a crisis and I feel very fortunate to have him in my life.
    I hope that your step-dad gets to read this lovely post you've written about him.

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  3. Ahhh thats a lovely sweet post. Some step dads are brilliant!! I know a few who are not even classed as step dads - they're just "Dad" dad if you know what I mean :)

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  4. That is a really lovely story. We should get a stepdads bloghop code going - to reassure some people.

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  5. Thanks for all the lovely comments - my step-dad did read the post but he already knows I love him. Liking the step-parent bloghop idea!

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I'd love feedback- but keep it clean and kind.

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