Monday, 15 June 2015

That'll be a Tena Madam...and other embarrassing anecdotes



I heard this first anecdote last week from a lovely lady with a fabulous sense of humour. You will understand very soon why I am not going to identify her - but thank you to her for this tale which still makes me cry with laughter every timeI think about it.

It might not be word for word but how I remember the story is that this lady was out shopping and inevitably had come to the part where you pay.

She grabbed her purse and foraged in it for her cash and triumphantly grabbing what she thought was a note brandished it at the cashier.

Of course, as you probably guessed from the title, what she actually grabbed was not in fact a ten pound note but a Tena lady panty pad!

Can you imagine?  Hearing this story we all howled with laughter along with the lady reliving the event but afterwards I thought actually it must have been quite embarrassing. I have immense admiration for her for sharing her tale.

Another friend told me once about the time she went for a really important interview with someone high up in the organisation she was hoping to work for. She wore her best white skirt.....yes I can hear sharp intakes of breath from the women reading this who know what's coming next.

She said she felt the tell-tale signs in her body and knew that her monthly visitor was popping in earlier than expected. Whilst trying to remain calm and professional she inwardly panicked whether Aunt Flo would not only ruin her skirt but also the antique upholstered chair she was sitting in! All she could do was Keep Calm and Carry On. She got the job by the way!

I think my most embarrassing moment was the time I went on a swimming date with a boy I was really hoping to impress. Although looking back I wonder why on earth I agreed to go on a date where you have to wear a swimming costume! I was a teenager though and to be fair my body was not the train wreck it is now.

It was the 80's and "fun pools" (as against all those pools which are no fun) were all the rage with their new-fangled slides, wave machines and jacuzzis. The one we went to on our date even ha a few dusty palm trees to add to the glamour.

Emboldened by my desire to show off to this boy I agreed to try the biggest scariest flume. Oh an by the way I hate swimming and slides and any water splashing on my face so it was a brave move.

After climbing the damp cold steps to the top I urged him to go first. He disappeared down the plastic tube and then I gingerly climbed in and headed down.

It was everything I feared - too fast, too wet and I shot out of the end of the ride like a cork out of a champagne bottle. Coughing and spluttering I rose out of the water only to realise that during the ride my swimming costume had let me down and I was now showing off my top half to the potential boyfriend and the rest of the happy swimmers.

Nowadays of course I will show my boobs to pretty much anyone after a couple of cocktails but as a more shy teen I felt humiliated.

Yes I was shy once. Or less good at pretending not to be shy to be more accurate.

My very favourite embarrassing stories are both related to Epilators. I blogged about the first one featuring my husband's burly friend who decided to try out his wife's gadget HERE and the other one involves the friend of a friend who after deciding to epilate her lady garden ended up getting her skin in "that" area stuck in between the rollers and had to go to the hospital with the machine still attached to her undercarriage for removal! Ouch!

Feel free to share your own embarrassing stories below - there's nothing like hearing about other people's humiliation to make you feel better!




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9 comments:

  1. Funny how we are more shy as teens when we have less to be shy about, yet as our bodies show signs of age so our confidence in them grows. the story about the rollers had me cringing and smiling all at once, that is a tale to tell after a few cocktails!

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  2. Ouch...As a general klutz there are many embarrassing stories but perhaps the one that sticks most in my mind happened when I was 18. It was our last family holiday before I headed off to university and we had gone on a driving holiday through France & into Spain. Staying at a campsite one night I slipped over in the shower block luckily with my towel still wrapped around me, thoroughly embarrassed I jumped up and shut myself in a cubical, turned the water on and stepped under. I don't know if it was the heat or the knock to my head but I suddenly felt very dizzy and fainted. I fell against the door with so much force it opened outwards and I tumbled to the floor. Coming too I saw two familiar faces - my Dad & my brother...staring down at me in all my embarrassingly naked glory. I had to be helped up and carted off to the local hospital with a mild concussion and dislocated shoulder!!

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    1. Oh No! That is embarrassing but really very funny too! Sorry!

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  3. Oh bless her - I've pulled out a tampax before and handed it over instead of a boots card - doh! I was trying to hold onto 4 children in my defense! #whatsthestory

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  4. Oh lordy! I feel all embarrassed for you and your friends! I'm too shy to share all my embarrassing stories! lol!

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  5. Oh, these stories did make me chuckle! I seem to have perfected the knack of forgetting my embarrassing moments, of which there have been many... :) #whatsthestory

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  6. Hehe its so easy to grab something you shouldn't out of ones handbag!! Mortifying for your friend who had the hospita visit! #whatsthestory

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