Sunday, 20 December 2015

It's nearly Christmas- feeling the pressure!

We are nearly there. All of my presents are bought and most of them are wrapped. I've made plans to visit some of my nearest and dearest and I have started the food shopping for the main event. 

Is it just me that feels overwhelmed? 

My husband's change of career has meant a big change in our routine and and drop in income.  I'm normally the type of person who copes with pretty much anything life throws at me but lately I feel both exhausted and a bit, well, flat.

I went to Germany and visited the Christmas markets. I watched the children in their school play, and end of term service. I sit in church and hear the familiar liturgy and stand to sing my favourite carols and yet.... the normal excitement is yet to appear. 

I suspect a mild depression, unsurprising given the year we have had. My Fibromyalgia is flaring too which doesn't really help. I am tired, bone tired, and in pain and frankly feeling a  bit sorry for myself.

Today my youngest was telling me about some "sad adverts" he had seen. His 7-year-old soul was saddened by tales of homeless people, sick children and neglected animals. 

It was a timely reminder that I am lucky really. I have friends and family who I love, a nice home, heat, food, power and transport. We aren't rich but we aren't on the bread line either. It's more than many can dream of. 

It made me determined to try hard to focus on what I believe Christmas is about. To steal words from someone else, for me it's about when  BC became AD. 

church advent wreath and candles

The picture is the Advent wreath in our church. All of the Advent candles are lit now and we just need the white one on the middle to be lit on Christmas Day.

I love the song "Like a Candle Flame" which even in the midst of this current mood can lift me. 

Hopefully sharing this song of hope will help others out there feeling lost in the shopping, cooking and rushing about that this year brings.


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