Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Exploring my spam folder

I get so much spam email that pretty much every day I have to delete the contents to stop my laptop's storage filling up and the whole thing slowing down to a snail's pace.

Since most of my work comes via email however I always feel I have to scan down the list to check nothing important has slipped through before hitting "select all" and "delete.". Turns out, my spam email folder is a weird place to be.


It makes me wonder  who "they" think I am?  Exploring the spam gives a mixed message and I defy anyone to identify me via my junk mail.

Take today for instance. It seems the little robots in the tinter web believe I desire Russian women, love playing online roulette and require an anti-attack alarm.

Meanwhile I have been offered a fast mortgage decision and the opportunity to move into a senior housing development. In America. The adverts from dance companies are obviously aimed at my dancing children not me but I'm not sure who the spam-bots are targeting with cannabis gummies...

Looking at my junk inbox you would think I spend my time on sex and gambling sites in between hunting for houses for my retirement and planning budget holidays. OK I'll admit to hunting for holidays.

I'm intrigued with the recommendation for hidden cameras - I think I'll give it a miss as from what I can see people use the footage from them to send out to people like me in unsolicited emails. You're OK Hillary, I have no interest in leaked footage of you.

Other highlights from today's mail include the offer of a military grade flashlight, special deals for veterans and oils which apparently cure Alzheimers.

I have so many free spins and credit on casinos I could spend all evening playing online - apart from I never have and have no intention of starting now.

I'm slightly offended by all the offers of cosmetics and cosmetic surgery - I obviously don't need it as I have a host of Asian babes and named individuals all queuing up for some sapphic romance. Sorry Karla, you aren't my type.

I could apparently stop disappointing young women in bed and cut my cell phone bill in half. Great news!

Instead I did what I do every day and highlighted and deleted the whole lot!

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