We’ve all been there. At weddings, at a bar, in the queue for the number 77 bus home on a late Thursday evening in the pouring rain. It can happen literally anywhere. That moment. That moment of lighting, or potential lightning, merely a spark, or the notion of a spark. Whatever it was, it was there and you saw it and now you’re questioning “Did I just catch them checking me out?”. The answer is that yes, you probably did.
Everybody wants to find love, companionship, someone to walk side by side with down life’s long and winding road (and someone to argue with in IKEA on an otherwise leisurely Sunday afternoon over which shape of fake plant leaves go best with the new cushions). Bliss.
But you can’t be 100% sure that they actually were checking you out (side note: for a fun way to find out, take a look at Medium Chat). I mean, remember that time you had a post-it note stuck to your coat all day that said “empty bins and remember to stop being cheap and buy some good bacon” and no-one told you? Probably best we take a look at some of the ways to tell if someone is into you.
Body language
Books have been written. Websites overflow with things to look out for. Friends who did psychology degrees will tell you all kinds of hidden secrets. When it comes to body language and attraction, we could be here all day. So, let’s break it down.
First, feet. Feet tend to point at what the person is interested in, this isn’t always the case if you’re in a circular group, but that’s where laughter and eye contact come in.
When someone laughs, they look at the person they are interested in, to check if they’re laughing too. Why? Mirroring. We want the object of our affections to know that we’re on their wavelength, that we’re the same, that we belong together.
Matching a person’s level of laughter in volume, facial expressions, and length of their laugh is a great way to signal that you are peas in a pod.
They listen to you
Have you ever seen Saving Private Ryan? There’s a line from the great Tom Hanks that goes something like “you gripe upwards, no down”, meaning to grovel to your superiors, not those beneath you. The same is sort of true with flirting. Try jumping into the conversation to see if you instantly gain the undivided attention of your would-be romantic interest.
The love triangle
Any actor with a week of stage training will tell you that to create a feeling of intimidation you use your eyes to look at the imaginary triangle between the pupils and the forehead. Conversely, to give away your attraction, look at the imaginary triangle between the pupils and the lips.
Anybody staring at your whole pupil/nose/lips area probably has other things on their mind than simply wondering what moisturiser you use to keep your nostrils so free from red-wintery soreness.