Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Cats

If it was up to my children, by now we would have accumulated a whole zoo in our already cramped house - as if there aren't enough smelly beasts here for me to clear up after.
I am a cat person. I loved our dog but not the digging, pooing or vital walkies come rain or shine. I was not happy about the snails or rats and frankly am baffled as to why people find fish interesting. But I love my cats.
My family has always had cats and when I met DH he recalls being given a thorough once-over by my cat Mortimer who liked to get in between us like some disapproving maiden aunt.
During our first year together DH got me a kitten, a female I named Ratzenburger (after John Ratzenburger from Cheers) which soon got shortened to Ratz. She was the dumbest cat I have ever encountered. A complete bimbo.
Mortimer died when I was pregnant with DS#1 - I was distraught! The vet warned Ratz might succumb to the same disease but she went on to live 19 years before dying quietly in her sleep in front of the fire one evening.
We acquired a couple more kittens, practically feral, rescued from a scaffold yard. So feral they didn't last long as house cats!
DS#3 with Badger
Last year I saw a message from a friend of a friend on Facebook begging for someone to take their cat as they were due to emigrate very soon and couldn't rehome him. Badger looked cute in the picture so after lengthy discussions we agreed to take him.
A week later a scabby, skinny, runty animal looking about 100 years older than his picture was dropped off. Poor Badger seems to be allergic to everything and, we since discovered, has had a lifetime of treatment at the vets which all proved fruitless. We renamed him scabby cat.
Then a few months later after a couple of cocktails we call an Aldbury Bitch (Ameretto and cranberry juice) I heard myself offering to take another couple of mature cats from my friend's sister who needed to rehome them.
When I sobered up I reassured their owner I really did want her beautiful cats and a few weeks later they came, looking every bit as lovely as their picture.
She watched them wandering round our large garden which backs onto fields and remarked that it was the cat equivalent of moving to Tuscany. Oscar and Tilly certainly settled in right away with no issues with Badger.
 Amazingly for some reason within days of their arrival Scabbycat Badger's skin started to improve, his scars healed and although he still looks about 100 even his mood has lifted and he's a cuddly, happy cat now!

Truths about cats according to Madmumof7
l-r Oscar, Tilly and Badger
They will demand you stroke them then some (not mine) without qualm will bite or scratch you without warning when they have had enough.
They are like the playground bitch. Its all purring and flirting one minute and drop dead "do I know you?" looks the next. They are cutting with their disdain at times.
They are like the fussiest child ever. You can buy the same cat food as they have always loved and this week it won't be good enough. Some cats even refuse "cat" food and their doting humans cook them fresh fish and chicken. If you are one of those humans can I be your cat?
Cats are clean. Everyone knows this. They bury their poo in the garden. Unless its raining or they can't be bothered in which case they will happily crap on your favourite cushion/T-shirt/foot. Then "bury" it so you walk round the room sniffing and wondering why your whole house smells awful.
They bring you presents. Some owners think this is endearing. If any human bought you a cat style present however you would be seeking an injunction. Santa;" What do you want for Christmas?" Me:" A mangled bird/vole/field mouse please." No, it wouldn't happen would it?
Cats are independent. Well yes. But when they want your attention it's a brave owner who tries to ignore their demands. Many a time I have had to abandon work as the cat has decided to sit on my keyboard to teach me a lesson. Or sat behind me on the sofa licking my hair.  Or sat on my chest in bed to stop me watching TV. Oscar even tried to sit on my lap on the toilet the other day.
Every night a selection of cats joins us on our bed (bear in mind we never allowed the children to sleep in our bed with us!) and we stupid humans make room for them. DH and I confessed to each other the other day that we stay in uncomfortable positions in bed to avoid disturbing the cats. Who is in charge here again.....?
Enhanced by Zemanta

1 comment:

  1. Haha! Love it! I grew up with cats too- my mum had 5! And as you know we now live with a mood swingy cat who demands constant attention, eats the kids breakfasts and brings us froggy 'presents' from the neighbours pond.

    ReplyDelete

I'd love feedback- but keep it clean and kind.