No cake please, it's January.

I have a confession to make. Yesterday I stood in the kitchen, on my own, and ate three custard doughnuts.
It's not as bad as it sounds-I didn't deprive the family of these treats. I had acquired said doughnuts which had been reduced in price from a friend on a January diet. But when I got them home my children informed me they don't like custard doughnuts. Custard- yes. Custards doughnuts- ugh! Go figure!
But I can't throw perfectly good food away so I was left with a dilemma. Doughnuts were already going a bit stale. I pondered making some kind of custard doughnut bread and butter pudding. And while I pondered I ate one. Mmmm. Tasty. Maybe I'd better just try another one. For research purposes you understand. Mmmm. "Back away from the doughnuts, Afra" I told myself in a stern voice. But then I remembered that fantastic rule, invoked by dieters everywhere. And it goes like this. If you eat something naughty, but no one saw you eat it, there are no calories in it. Hurrah! So I ate a third. Yum.
Then I walked past a mirror and felt guilty.
The doughnuts were still there this morning but were well and truly solidly stale so thankfully have been binned.
But it led me to thinking about all the other diet rules I have in my head. Like, if you eat the children's leftovers you have not in fact consumed any calories. Cold leftover fish fingers especially come into this category.
Things you pop into your mouth off a baking tray to "test". Calorie free. Anything you eat at a friends house because you got there for coffee and she's made a gorgeous cake. Well it would be rude to turn down a slice after she's worked so hard so that surely doesn't count towards your recommended daily intake?
Goodies you consume while on a mega shopping trip with your mates, buying shoes, handbags and other such things- not in fact fat or calorie free but covered under the "I've been on my feet for six hours up and down this mall so I must have burned at least 2000 calories off" rule.
I'm sure many of you have more rules to get round the " no cake, it's January" feeling. Please share them via my comments box as I need a few more to work with- there's a half-eaten Irish cream cake sitting in my kitchen right now and I need an excuse to have a piece with my morning cuppa!