5 Things I Would Ban From Aeroplanes

Maybe it was because I was travelling after a difficult and emotional ten days away but I found my recent flight from Cyprus to the UK really quite stressful. I was very glad to land and walk away without having exploded with the irritation which had been building throughout the flight.


To be fair to my carrier Jet2 I had no issues with their service or staff. In fact of all of the budget airlines I've flown to with I rate them pretty much top of the heap. Their staff in particular are a credit to them.

Nope. Mostly the issues were with my fellow passengers who apparently have no idea what is acceptable behaviour in a confined space.

To try and distract myself from my rising irritation I compiled a list of five things I would ban from aeroplanes if I was Queen of the World.

  1. Curry or other strong smelling foodstuffs.  I was in a row behind the rest of my family but the bloke next to me was the perfect travelling companion. Until he ordered a curry that is. I always take my own food onto short haul flights but I always peruse the menu out of boredom interest.  I noticed that not only do many airlines often sell curry but on some flights Jet2 were offering egg and onion sandwiches! Like an antisocial smell expert had been brought in especially to create the most offensive smelling sarnie!
  2. Nappy changing in the cabin. Yes I know nappies have to be changed and airline toilets are smaller than a hobbit's home but I could have done without the frequent loud demands to "spread your legs darling" and the running commentary on what was happening inches from my seat. Anything other than a wet nappy should NEVER be changed on seats.
  3. Gadgets without headphones. This flight was a particularly bad one for passengers using gadgets without headphones. I endured Shrek competing with loud Greek pop music and a variety of bleeping pinging games. When Shrek ended the young passengers mum decided to watch some form of action movie with frequent explosions, gunfire and shattering glass noises. 
  4. People who can't/won't look after their own offspring. Now before you go all militant on me, let me remind you I am a mum of 7 and I have travelled frequently with all or at least lots of those children. I have never allowed them to climb over the seats and stare at the passengers in the row behind. I would not let them repeatedly slam the window blind down, kick the chair in front, fiddle for hours with the table up, table down, table up, table down. I am quite tolerant of children whinging or crying and the odd bump or knock - children will be children and flights are boring. It's not their fault. But as a parent who tries to be considerate of others in public generally I find those who don't even try really annoying.
  5. Cheese. One of the reasons I take my own food onto flights is because almost everything on sale onboard seems to contain cheese. I hate cheese AND I'm intolerant of dairy so I'm left with only giant bags of Maltesers or overpriced Pringles to choose from if I run out of food. Oh, or curry of course.