Does Money Impact Relationships?

"All you need is love" The Beatles sang many decades ago, but I reckon most people who are looking for, or are in a relationship would disagree with this slightly naive declaration.

Patience, communication skills and a fundamental agreement on ethics and life goals are certainly useful alongside that love if you hope to make it past the honeymoon stage and to be brutally honest, money also plays a part.

madmumof7 and husband

As one who married for love 27 years ago without much thought about my man's income or bank balance, I was shocked to once hear a woman  at a toddler group admit she chose her university course carefully with the main goal to be to find a partner who was statistically likely to have a higher than average salary after graduation.

Following her life plan, she gave up her own career when her first child came along and lived a comfortable life in a lovely house funded by her husband. I have no idea if it was a happy marriage or not.

We have always struggled with money and I sometimes wonder if my life might have been easier and less stressful if I'd ignored the love butterflies and picked a partner with my head rather than my heart? Although having said that we'd have obviously been financially better off if we'd had a more normal sized family!

I don't regret my choice at all but I'll admit most of the few arguments we have tend to be about money or caused by the lack of it. However I'd never leave him because of money issues - when he had health issues which left him unemployed I stuck by him and we dealt with the situation together.

Sterling cash on tablecloth

I spotted an interesting article  this week about how money can impact relationships and how many people choose a romantic partner based all or partly on their wealth.

The piece was published by Shepherd's Friendly Society  (#ad) which has been expert in all things money related since 1826 and throws up some fascinating statistics broken down by gender following a survey they carried out recently along with analysis from psychologist and relationship expert, Dr Becky Spelman.

For instance it was interesting to see that more than 68% of men still think that blokes should pay the bill on a date while only around 41% of women agreed.

Do you remember that line from comedian Mrs Merton? Back in the '90's she asked Debbie McGee “So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”

Interestingly the Shepherd's Friendly Society survey found that people admitting that money plays a part in how attractive they find a potential partner rises significantly in the over 60's.

Same sex couples are apparently more likely to keep their finances separate while around 10% of all those surveyed said they thought their partner declaring bankruptcy was a valid reason to dump them.

Luckily. my husband and I take our wedding vows very seriously although If I'm honest when we promised "for richer, for poorer" we didn't realise quite how much of our marriage would be the latter!

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