Marriage Proposal Tips

I've been married for almost 30 years and I'm still teasing my husband for what was in my opinion one of the worst and least romantic marriage proposals ever.

engagement ring Photo by Simon John-McHaffie on Unsplash


We'd just finished our dinner at my home and I was washing up. I was wearing what can only be described as "scruffs" and as he wiped up he started to talk about the cost of petrol. He loved almost 100 miles away and was doing an awful lot of driving in the name of love.

He suggested casually that we could maybe "move in together or get married or something..." and  I had to check this was in fact an actual proposal. Despite the lack of romance, bended knee or even a ring it was indeed his awkward way of asking me to marry him.

He maintains he didn't want me to get carried away by the romance of an engineered proposal in a restaurant, in the moonlight or on the beach or other such slushy nonsense. He also said he didn't get a ring because he thought I'd want to choose my own.

Obviously I accepted and we did in fact choose my ring and our wedding rings together a week or so later but a little bit of me still sort of wished he'd done the surprise ring thing.

There are of course issues with this. One biggie, faced by lots of people hoping to present their loved one with a ring, how do you choose a surprise gift and get the size right? A proposal could be ruined if the ring doesn't fit.

Luckily there are ways round it and they mostly need a degree of subterfuge.

The most obvious one is to borrow a ring and take it to the jeweller hoping it isn't missed while you have it. Finding out that your loved one has called the police and reported a theft is not the best way to start an engagement.

The second method is to borrow a ring for a very short time - maybe while your intended is in the shower- and measure it.

This can be quite tricky actually but thankfully you can download and print a ring size guide from Pomegranate London which should make getting the correct size very simple.

One big vital part of this plan is to make sure you measure a ring your loved one wears regularly and you know it is a good fit. People often keep rings that are too big or small for sentimental reasons so don't get caught out borrowing a ring which you aren't sure actually fits.

All that's left to do is work out when you are going to present it.

You might be keen on a big gesture but don't paint your loved on into a corner - they might feel obliged to say yes to a very public proposal when in fact they aren't sure - only go for the flash mob, sports game, family party proposal if you are 100% sure the answer will be yes.

Maybe a more intimate setting might be nice - a picnic at sunset, a mountain drive, a rooftop restaurant with a table for two - all lovely ideas.

But no-one knows your loved one like you so never copy another proposal- always tailor-make the event so it's special to just you two.

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