I've been waking up in the night quite frequently recently. Partly an issue with one of my meds and partly because we've had a lot of stuff going on which is not conducive to a good nights sleep. Oh and I need the toilet a lot because I am OLD.
For some unknown reason as I stumbled to the bathroom doing that thing where you try to stay asleep I had the song "Forever Young" by Alphaville playing in my brain (YouTube video below of you need a refresher) and it made me chuckle ironically.
Because I do still feel young still even though my birthday this week will see me creep reluctantly further into my 50's.
I'm baffled. All the evidence is against me. I make noises when I stand up and sit down. I have little pill boxes with the days of the week on to organise my many meds. I only have one pair of shoes with a heel and I keep them on display in my bedroom while mostly going out in footwear incorporating memory foam insoles.
I can still remember the words to 80's hits. I remember Channel 4 starting up. I see clothes in shops and remember wearing them when they were in fashion the first time. I have O-levels. I have a white streak in my hair Cruella de Ville would be proud of. I'm months off becoming a grandparent.
But in my head I'm young. I don't feel significantly different than genuinely young me. Actually this version of me is better in that I have more confidence and give less of a sh*t about what people think of me.
I don't want to be old. I know my children are sure I am older than the dinosaurs and passing strangers asked to describe me would never say "the young woman with short hair."
However as my good friend Ian is fond of saying, it is what it is, and sadly there is no magic cure for ageing. The best I can do is plaster my skin with ever more expensive creams and lotions and hope to avoid looking like a prune and maybe drink less after 7pm.