I was already a bit grumpy. I had ended up going to bed later than I planned and then it turned out to be one of those nights where I just couldn't drop off. I read my Kindle for a while and finally started feeling drowsy. Then the yowling started.
At first I thought it was our ginger tabby cat Jasper as our new cat, a fluffy tortoiseshell, Charlotte (we didn't name her) who up until now had seemed pretty silent. She does those silent meows which freak my cat-fearing friend out, much to my amusement.
We shut Jasper in the kitchen at night with cat flap access to the outside. He's fed at around 9.30pm and again at about 7.30am.
I went downstairs to find Jasper quite happy and in fact delighted to see me as he quite obviously had decided it must be breakfast time. I shook out a handful of cat biscuits to placate him.
Heading back upstairs I discovered Charlotte had found her voice and was prowling about. I stroked her and when she seemed to enjoy that attention, attempted to pick her up to give her more fuss.
Cue the appearance of horror movie hissing all-claws cat - I hurriedly put her down and somewhat indignant at her behaviour I headed back to bed.
She followed me into my room and went under my bed, then stalked noisily across every surface sending framed photographs and other bits and bobs clattering. Once she was satisfied that she had trodden on or knocked over every loose item in the room she settled on my stomach (this is a HEAVY cat we rescued recently who is now on a diet) with her paws - and claws- on my thigh.
NB the picture below was taken when she had adopted a less painful position.
I endured her affectionate stapling kneading with gritted teeth for a while then thanks to her movement and weight on my bladder I finally caved and disturbed the now peacefully sleeping cat (still clawing me in her sleep) and went for a wee.
She followed me into the bathroom and stared somewhat balefully at me. I returned to bed shutting my bedroom door to avoid further punctures. She inevitably started clawing at the carpet outside the door.
I got up and let her in and she decided to punish me further by scratching at our built in wardrobe door. She is new to these parts so maybe she thought it was the portal to another dimension or maybe the entrance to the west wing? I dont know her background apart from her owner died and she's been overfed. For all I know she might. have lived in a stately home. She certainly acts as if she is to the manor born.
Finally she tired of tormenting me and at just after 4am I finally got to sleep.