As a mum to 7 I suppose it was inevitable that eventually at least some of them might get married. But nowadays getting to attend that wedding as a mother of the whatever is not a given, with foreign destinations proving an attractive option for couples who do not want giant nuptials complete with a giant bill. And church weddings are in decline with couples able to choose a variety of options including registry offices, hotels and other venues instead.
But this year my eldest proposed to his partner and to my absolute delight they've opted for a small but perfectly formed wedding in our village church and a VERY local venue - I will be able to stumble over the road to change out of my high heels back into my sliders when my beautiful new boots inevitably cripple me.
I always said if any of my children married I would treat myself to some Irregular Choice footwear. As the years have passed my feet are less keen on anything but loose orthopaedic-styles but I will suck it up for the beauty of these boots which feature cheeky lobsters on the soles.
Yes, even though the wedding is not until next spring I have already bought one outfit plus a back up dress depending on weather, mood, waist size and what the mother of the Bride chooses to wear.
MOTG's (let's shorthand mother of the groom) in the UK will know that basically generally we are the wallflowers of the wedding. While the Mother of the Bride (MOTB) gets to sing "slipping through my fingers" while her daughter sits on her lap painting her nails (Mamma Mia reference) I'm guessing my son would not enjoy that experience. I mean, in Mamma Mia while the MOTB got to don 70's gear and perform at the Hen where in fact were Sky's family? Never mentioned!
I mean to be fair the Bride's family usually have more work and often expense although more and more couples are footing the bill themselves. IN the US I gather the groom's family organise and pay for the rehearsal dinner - I did tentatively offer to make dinner for the in laws but my soon to be DiL decided a family gathering at the local pub after the rehearsal seemed like a good plan instead.
She has been amazing actually and I really do feel like I'm gaining a daughter. From the hen do, wedding chat and pre-ceremony pampering session she has made sure I am included. Her fiancé (my son) is very like my husband - he's largely letting her organise the whole thing. Like me, she likes to have control and is determined to have her dream wedding defying tradition to create her own small scale but beautiful event.
It's traditional for the Bride to get married in her home area but she has been very sensitive about our family history (my husband's descendants here go back to the 1500's) and my son's connection to our local church so that is where they will be married. As MOTG though we will sit on the right hand side and this will feel weird - like many churchgoers I have a favourite side which is on the left. However I will deal with it with joy at being able to see this lovely couple married.