Monday, 22 May 2017

For Fish Fingers Sake! Let's stop mum-shaming! #solidaritea

I have often joked that I am proud to be an unfit mother. Of course I'm sort of joking but what I mean really is that I have come to believe that organic muesli and pre-school Japanese lessons are not essential to raise a child to become a happy, healthy successful adult.

happy children

I am writing this blog post after a few days of observing the fallout of a national newspaper piece featuring some blogger peers - they may also make jokes about being unfit/slummy mummies but like me of course they are devoted parents who are not too proud to admit that sometimes it is the hardest job in the world.

I am standing up with them and many others to declare my #solidaritea.

Yes sorry preggers people-it's not all about chubby rosy cheeked babies and toddlers with tinkling giggles and snowy white dresses. Sometimes it's shit. Both psychologically and literally, up the back of the babygro, across your sofa, in your hair yellow stinking poop.

From the second you become pregnant and are sucked into the breast is best organic yoghurt weaving baby signing tiger mummy world you are made to feel like anything but perfect is abuse.

Swim safe with Aquaplane #review

I am a little bit (very) terrified of water and despite many, many, MANY swimming lessons still cautiously and slowly breaststroke up and down any pool and panic if water splashes my face, even in the shower.

When my eldest was a baby, as soon as his inoculations were complete I headed off to our local pool determined he would not inherit my fear. I enrolled in baby swim classes but on the very first session the woman running it snatched my precious first born out of my arms and fully submerged him.

swimming with armbands in Cyprus pool

 It felt to me like she held him under for ages - I'm sure of course it was only a few seconds - but as he emerged spluttering and screaming I vowed never to go back.

When he and his brother were older I signed them up for classes. Sounds simple? Oh no! This involved getting up at about 1am, queuing til dawn then handing over a vial of my blood, half our income for the year and the keys to my car in return for a coveted spot on Goldfish 1.

I may be exaggerating slightly but it was a bit of a nightmare with many parents missing out.

First lesson and I arrived at the leisure centre with two small children and a baby in a carry car seat. The changing rooms were downstairs and the lift was broken. I carried baby and herded children with bags downstairs and into what I think was an anteroom to hell. Well it was certainly almost as hot as hell down there with an all pervading moist smell of chlorine and bodies. Yuk.