Thank goodness I taught my children to cook!

I am not a well girl at the moment. I have "lady garden" problems and am having a Fibromyalgia flare-up and to top the lot I have tonsillitis which has morphed into a nasty soft palate infection.

This means I not only don't want to eat (a rare occurrence in my life) but I don't have the energy or inclination to cook either. So that gives me four choices:

Pizza -making Fun!

1. The family can starve along with me. Nope. I have teenagers who as you might know need feeding as regularly as newborn babies.

2. My husband can cook for them. Hmm. I love my husband dearly but his cooking skills only extend to the placing of bread into the toaster and getting it out again. He's very good at buttering it to my taste but other than that.... I tried to teach him but he really is hopeless. I remember going away once and leaving him lots of boxed frozen food. I phoned and asked how he'd got on. He'd tried to cook chicken Kiev and chips. The kiev needed to be cooked longer than the chips at a lower temperature so he split the difference and ended up with burnt chips and Kievs with unmelted butter in the middle - which he ate! Luckily he has an iron stomach and wasn't ill.

3. I could order takeaways. Two problems with this. Firstly, it's expensive, especially when you have a big family. But mainly it would break my heart to see everyone else tucking into lovely Indian or Chinese food or good ole fish 'n chips if I can't have any. If I can't have it neither can they. Selfish much? Yup.

4. The kids can cook their own food. This is the option I have gone for largely this week (although I did cook for some of them last night)

DS#3 learning to make coleslaw with
Grandma Facetime-ing from Cyprus

You see even my younger ones can make themselves food. I'm a great believer in early independence so start them preparing their own cereal as young as four or five. About 7-8 they start making their own cups of tea, toast, crumpets, sandwiches. My top toast tip - get them to watch the toaster and when toasted product pops up teach them to count to ten slowly before trying to get it out. This allows the food to cool slightly. And invest in some cheap wooden tongs for toast extraction to avoid fork/toaster electrocutions!

By 11 they are allowed to cook pasta, prepare eggs scrambled, boiled, fried and by the teens they are allowed into the freezer which contains "help yourself food."

They made fajitas and fruit salad

Even when I'm not ill often we eat in shifts to fit in after school activities or meetings or playdates. We try and eat together a couple of times a week when a roast dinner or mince n mash type meal is normally the meal on offer but it's wise to have food around to make quick meals like eggs, beans, pizzas, fish fingers, pasta, stir-frys etc.

My children love to help to prepare food - my 14 year old is happy to peel potatoes if it means he gets mashed potato for tea and even my 5 and 7 year olds like to drag our little kitchen steps up to the worktop to help me peel, top and tail, chop and dice, or just put the stuff I've chopped into the pans or steamer.

Helping to make pies

It's how I learned to cook and so far no-one has got burned or sliced - they are learning kitchen safety as well as kitchen skills. And it means that when I whisper from my sick bed: "make yourselves some food" they are quite capable of teaming up to scour the cupboards, fridge and freezer and cobble together a meal. OK so more often than not it features Super Noodles and frankfurters but it won't hurt them occasionally!

So if you are wondering what age to think about letting them cook- I'd say the earlier the better. And not just cupcakes and pizza decorating - get them helping with the nitty-gritty dull prep of family meals. That way they will not be the student eating nothing but beans on toast at Uni and when you are ill you don't have to drag yourself out of bed to feed them. They might even cook you dinner occasionally!

World Book Day Costume Hell

Anyone who has a school age child will almost certainly empathise with my feelings of misery when I realised that World Book Day was here again and it was time to get busy with the costume creation.

Superhero Day-Buzz, power ranger and a Winx fairy

For those of you who have yet to experience the regular creative challenges presented by primary schools nowadays let me fill you in. When I went to school we never dressed up, not ourselves and certainly not potatoes. Yes, you heard, potatoes. For reasons which escape me now we had to dress up a potato as our favourite character from a book. Cue a whole table flu of Harry Potter-tatoes wearing pipe cleaner glasses.

In the olden days when I were a lass we raised money with a tombola at Christmas and maybe did a sponsored walk, or silence or sheep shear or something. Our parents happily sent us off to school every day without having first spent an hour or more making hats, hunting for something red with white spots or spraying our hair wacky colours.

But times change and charities need everyone's help so with tedious regularity a letter comes home from school outlining the latest jolly jape to raise money for pigmy goats in the Lebanon or orphan snails in Glasgow or whatever. and skiing us to dress our children up or make yet more cakes, or fill jam jars or design cards which will be sold back to us at eye-watering prices.

I get that it's good for the children to learn about people or causes which need their help. And I get that they are trying to make it fun with all the different themes but wish they'd spare a thought for busy tired mums and dads who have to come up with a creative yet wearable outfit out of thin air. Or hit Amazon or Ebay if you are quick enough before the supply vs demand thing sends the prices of "Tudor costume (girls)" or  "Tin Man outfit (age 5-6)" sky high.

I've been in charity shops more than once and witnessed flushed stressed middle aged women sidling up to the volunteer shop assistants and asking if they can look "out the back" for a mop cap and/or white apron.

And yesterday my friend was far too excited, nay triumphant just because she discovered that the one last pair of red shoes tucked behind all the black ones in Tesco was in her daughter's size. Yes, The Wizard of Oz is our theme for this year so out came the foil and the rabbit's bedding in households all over the UK.

I have three children at Primary school so triple the fun for me on dressing up days. This year I was lucky - I found a silver space man's suit last week in a charity shop and snapped it up for £2.50. Covered a funnel in foil and the spaceman logo with a red cardboard heart- Bingo!

A monkey Onesie was accessorised with an old felt Christmas sack snipped quickly into a waistcoat, and a Christmas cowboy hat which has lingered in my hallway for months was butchered to make a Fez. Ta-da - flying monkey soldier thing.

DD delved into the depths of her sister's wardrobe and whilst in Narnia found an old blue gingham school dress left over from when our school swapped suddenly to red gingham. We strapped a toy dog into one of those baskets you put crisps in at parties and made a ribbon handle- Toto and Dorothy were ready for the day.

I made a special effort this year as we found out yesterday that Oftsed were visiting. Can you imagine - a school filled with overexcited costumed children whose day involved an Ash Wednesday service in our church followed by a trip to another bigger school to watch the drama students perform "The Whizz". No wonder our head looked a bit green in the face this morning even before she did her face paint - although she was looking incredibly stylish in her glam wicked witch costume.

Pjs and red noses for comic
relief last year

So I'm feeling quite smug, even though Grumpy's funnel hat keeps falling off and I'm fairly sure DS#4 will have heatstroke by the end of the day in his furry onesie and waistcoat while DD will probably have hyperthemia wearing a summer dress and t-shirt. Well, one has to suffer for one's art doesn't one.

My top tip to parents with children coming up to school age - start collecting costumes and props now.  I'd particularly advise grabbing flat caps and mop caps if you see them going cheap
- if nothing else you'll make a killing on the auction sites come Victorian week.

I've had to find everything from Egyptian Princess up to Red spotted pyjamas over the years so trust me, the more stuff you have in stock the easier your life will be. You're Welcome!

#silentsunday 2/3/14

My first Hangout on Google + failing at the Andrex Washlets Challenge.

It was my first Google Hangout and I was extremely nervous. I found myself preparing for it like it was a first date. Hair washed, blow dried, straightened. Earrings chosen and makeup applied all before the school run so I could dash back and make my timeslot.

I had been invited to join in with the Andrex Washlets challenge which would be recorded to share with the world- I knew I would be given a list of words which I had to help another person guess with words and actions, avoiding certain key words. 

It was to be a Men vs Women challenge. My game partner, Uri from urbanvox, was a complete stranger to me having been chosen for me by the lovely folk at Flea Enterprises so I had no idea of his word-guessing capabilities. 

No subject taboo when we three get together!

I was interested to learn the blogger challenge came about after Andrex Washlets surveyed 2,000 British adults to analyse their conversation and found that nearly half of Brits (47%) shy away from having conversations about difficult subjects.

Apparently more of us would rather talk about mental health and sex than share our bathroom habits! The survey also found that women are generally much better at broaching difficult or embarrasing topics.  Well as a member of the so-called fairer sex I know that no subject is taboo (including anything Lady Garden related!) when women get together, whilst my husband admits that most of the talk in the pub revolves around footie, rugby, cricket and chainsaws. 

Back to the hangout - I moved my laptop around the house trying to find a good spot at the right height where the viewers wouldn't spot a big 'ole mess behind me and the light was good. Oh and I wouldn't flip said laptop off the surface with my wildly gesticulating arms - you'll see from the video I use my hands a lot when I talk.

I had a few technical issues delaying the start of the Hangout - as it was my first time I hadn't realised I would have to "accept terms and conditions" on the screen in front of me by scrolling down before my session began. Cue me hitting enter repeatedly and screeching at the screen until I accidentally scrolled down and saw the button I was meant to click. Doh! 

Then I realised I needed to have my list of words on another device so I could see Uri on the laptop screen so scrabbled frantically to power up the trusty iPad and prop it next to my laptop - hence lots of me glancing sideways in the video.

I won't give too much away but suffice it to say I don't think Uri and I will be winning any prizes for our frankly pathetic efforts but I did have an absolute blast and now can't wait to join another Hangout!

Check out our game here: Mobile users as always may need to click this link.

Carcraft Lego Challenge

When you have 7 children you soon get bored of holding traditional birthday parties with pass the parcel, cake and curly sandwiches. And frankly I can't afford to outsource to entertainers, soft play centres or ski-slopes.

Lego City set 60012

I have to think of different ways to celebrate their birthdays cheaply and imaginatively so I was delighted to be asked to take part in an exciting challenge by Carcraft and Lego who asked if we could make a film using Lego City set 60012 containing a coastguard jeep with trailer and a rescue dinghy which would actually float on real water!

You see I had a brainwave.  I decided I would hand over the challenge to the children attending my son's 9th birthday party, throw in some pizza and make it a film-making party. Genius! And with a bit of luck we might even win a £100 Lego set too! Bonus!

Well the party guests loved it - they all set to work building the set and props incorporating some of the new Lego my son had for his birthday. Even I got in on the action assisting my Lego-mad friend who is 21 and then some but still loves those little bricks! She insists on following the instructions while I like to go off-piste and make my own stuff. They should make a movie about people like that. Oh, hang on......

Set-builders hard at work.

My 14-year-old who is studying media for GCSE took over as Director and turned our kitchen into the location. I never realised he could be so, well,  directorial! There were complaints of bossiness and meanness from the other film-makers but he got them all organised. Eventually. Sort of.

Set building completed, pizza and cake was eaten then we got onto making storyboards and after a few shouty arguments artistic disagreements the filming got underway.

DS#3 initially tried the stopstart method using his phone but with many "helpful" opinions from the 12 other participants it all got a bit fraught so he rebuilt part of the set the next day when they had all gone and had another go using a programme he found online.

The finished product is short, but I think, sweet. And it was one of the easiest birthday parties I have ever organised!


Check out the finished video here:  (Mobile viewers might need to click this link.)

Many thanks to Lego for making a great product which fires the imaginations of both adults and children. And thanks to Carcraft who I'm told are the country's leading used car supermarket. They have 11 showrooms nationwide where they also service and MOT vehicles by the way.

Disclaimer: I was sent a free Lego City set in order to be able to take part in this competition.

100 word blog challenge about midwives!

100 words on how midwives influenced my first birth experience.

Midwives-  measured, tested, weighed, advised, reassured,  answered endless stupid questions.

Midwives-offered choices, options, positions, knowledge on how, when, where to give birth.

Midwives, held my hand, stroked my hair, went shoulder deep into murky water in my birthing pool to keep an expert ear on my baby still inside me.

Midwives took charge, made changes, used their wisdom and experience to know when it was time to use technology and drugs to hasten delivery.

Me and that baby-both alive today because of trained midwives.

#firstday

My #firstday as a mother or "how I nearly died but didn't"

It was almost 20 years ago but each painful, exciting, scary step of my labour and the subsequent delivery is etched in my brain like it was yesterday.

Me and my first "baby"

 I woke in the early hours, a week "overdue" and discovered I was lying in a small damp patch - about the size of a rich tea biscuit. Only a heavily pregnant woman or one who has had children can appreciate my next sentence- I sniffed the patch to see if it was wee!

Hmm. Not sure. Still sitting up in bed I reached for "what to expect when you are expecting" and read up on mystery damp patches. Advice was it may be that your waters are about to go -check with your midwife.

Oh I can't tell you how excited I was. I reached for my notes (also by my bed for late night perusal) and the phone and rang the delivery suite. It was 1am. A tired-sounding midwife yawned and told me to stick a pad in my knickers and ring back an hour later if it got damp - then I could bring it in and test to see if it was urine or amniotic fluid.

I got out of bed (finally) and as I straightened up I flooded my legs, nightie and the floor. Ok. Not wee then. Rang back the midwife who said to take my time, no rush, no contractions as yet so just waddle in at my leisure.

So I raced around, washed my hair, checked my hospital bag for the 4 millionth time pausing to coo again over my tiny babygros which I had washed in non-bio powder and ironed (ha!) ready for my bundle of joy. Made my husband a packed lunch. No really, I did. It said to do so in "What to expect" so I did so he wouldn't have to leave me to get food during my labour. You know, the labour where I would start off with my TENS machine and some calming music then move into the water (I had been on a course and everything!) to ease the labour pains (described as like period pains only slightly worse by a well-meaning lying cow  friend.) All the time with my husband by my side massaging my back and speaking soothing words of love.

What actually happened. Admitted. Husband sent home. Night of pain not helped by irritating TENS machine with wandering pads. Not helped by the fact I was rooming with a mother having her 6th who spent the night giving me a rather more realistic account of what was to come. Thanks for that love.

Husband back, Midwife check - 1cm. Argh! Repeat this every few hours. Hated the water - every time I had a contraction I felt like I was drowning. Probably because I don't even like swimming so why on earth I thought I'd find a water birth relaxing I don't know!

Jump to about 7pm. Starving! Attached to everything but the machine which went ping including a scalp monitor for baby whose heartbeat was dipping dramatically......

Cue serious people in scrubs mentioning the C word. Midwife trying to cheer me up showed the next shift of midwives my original birth plan with now embarrassing insistence of limited medical intervention written probably while I was listening to whale calls. (Yep - I bought that CD) Oh how we all laughed!

DS#5 whose life was saved by a team of midwifes
and doctors who treated him for  premature baby syndrome.
He needed ventilating and surfactant
and was in an intensive care incubator for over a week.

Everyone left me to prepare for my op. Husband took the opportunity to eat his packed lunch. I suddenly realised post section I wouldn't be able to eat for another 24 hours (that was the rule back then) so pinched his Mars Bar.  Which given that they had just given me pre-op meds was not a great idea.

I was raced down the corridor vomiting over the side of the trolley and terrified by now as everyone looked worried about me and baby. Stripped, epidual topped up to max numbing power, sheets up and my anxious DH was ushered to my head. He bent down and whispered... words of reassurance? Love? Nope - he asked me if I thought he was supposed to keep his pants on under the scrubs. How the F should I know?

I remember tugging, more vomiting and frowning medical staff until-waaaaaa! Sighs of relief all round as Jacob Thomas Kingsley Willmore finally emerged alive and kicking.

A midwife told me afterwards we were both lucky to survive - a generation or so before or in fact in other parts of the world my husband would have been planning a double funeral.

And sadly that is true -Save The Children today launches a new campaign #firstday to make sure that more women globally have a happy ending like me.
 It breaks my heart to see statistics like this:

Every year 2.9 million babies die in their first month. Their tiny airways get blocked, the delivery is obstructed or they are exposed to infections or hypothermia.

Newborn deaths now account for nearly half of all under-five deaths.

"One Born Every Minute" midwife Gemma in Liberia where conditions are
very basic and women often give birth alone.

Luckily we can all help to change this. Most of these deaths are preventable, with the help of a trained and equipped midwife along with basic medicines such as antiseptics and antibiotics, vital equipment and a clean environment to work in- all things we kinda take for granted here in the UK. Yes, our midwives are stretched and stressed but on the whole we have access throughout our pregnancies and birth.

Save The Children say all it takes is political will from governments around the world to provide the funds to train up and equip midwives.

The world has made amazing progress in saving children’s lives over the past two decades thanks to global action on vaccines, family planning and treatment of childhood illness, the number of children who die each year has dropped from 12.6 million in 1990 to 6.6 million in 2012. 

But really, that isn’t enough – not while 2.9 million babies a year never reach their second month of life. Lack of political focus on newborn deaths is blocking us from being the generation to stop all preventable child deaths.

 2014 gives us a unique opportunity to make change happen: For the first time ever, countries and institutions around the world will sit down to agree the Every Newborn Action Plan. Save The Children say we need to ensure world leaders take action on this and know the world is calling for them to do so. 

So think back to your #firstday as a parent, an auntie or uncle, or as you celebrated the birth of a baby to someone else close to you and think, for instance, of the women in Liberia who may give birth in the dark, alone, on the side of the road. Of the babies who die because they don't have clean water or antiseptic gel to clean up their tiny belly buttons. Of the mothers who die because they have retained a teeny tiny bit of placenta - easily picked up and treated with access to basic healthcare facilities, trained staff and when necessary antibiotics.

 Save The Children launch their #firstday campaign today with two aims:

• To save the lives of 2 million newborn babies a year
• To ensure that every baby is born with the support of a trained and equipped midwife

 How can YOU help?

Sign the petition to ask David Cameron to put a global plan into action in 2014 that will ensure every baby is born with the life-saving help of a trained and equipped midwife and use his influence to get world leaders to do the same.

Text a donation: a donation of £3, the price of a cup of coffee, could save 10 newborn lives by buying 10 tubes of antiseptic cream. Text COFFEE to 70090 or click here to donate.

Look back through my birth story. Look how many times a midwife was involved in my story. And lets make that the case for more new mums worldwide. Let make every #firstday a happy one.